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Tips for Successful Online Relationships

August 13, 2010

Finding a person online that intrigues you enough to pursue an online relationship is difficult. Once you have found that person you need to revisit the age old issues of developing that relationship. In many respects, some may say that online relationships are easier then in person relationships. But, in reality it is pretty much the same, just a little bit more removed. Dating tips are essentially the same, but they are a little more subtle then if you are face-to-face.

Safety

Even if the person sounds fantastic online you must be aware that there are some people out there that are being all you want them to be, but with ulterior motives. The very first piece of online dating advise is to not to give the person on the other end any numbers like telephone or PIN numbers regardless of how good they sound.

Be honest with yourself

Relationship advice is always a bit suspect because we are all a bit different. Dating advice from one person to another only reflects that one person giving the dating advice and not necessarily how it applies to you. Always take advice on dating and apply it, with modification, to who you are. Dont fudge about who you truly are, it will only come back to haunt you later on.

Slow and steady

One dating tip for a quality online relationship is to take it slow. Some might more aptly call this dating tip the restriction of to-much-information (TMI.) You do not need to have an online relationship develop 100 percent in one or two weeks. Let the personal information out slowly. A little mystery will go a long way to building the relationship.

Inflection

This particular piece of online dating advice is one item that requires a bit of work. Voice inflection when online is lost. Inflection is one of those things that we really take for granted. Quite a bit of meaning is lost without it. If you are sarcastic (like me) you can quickly lose somebody on the other end if they dont know how the words are intended. This is one of the reasons that the LOL and smile face type notations have come about. The problem is, many people find these notations a bit cutesy. The online dating advice here is to use words to explain your inflection rather then symbols. So, if sarcastic, simply insert (sarcasm) into the text or use uppercase (OH BOY!!!) for very happy or (OH BOY) for can you believe what he did.

Conversation

Most people say that the art of conversation is dead. In a certain sense this also applies to online dating. Using text abbreviations and assumptions make online relationship building even more impersonal then it already is. This particular piece of online dating advice could be applied to regular relationship building as well. Use simple but descriptive whole worlds to describe what you are discussing. The right word will say quite a bit about who you are. For example: I like kayaking because of the way the paddle slips into the calm water works better then paddling is relaxing. You will come off as a bit more refined rather then just another person online.

Dont impose

This is perhaps the hardest piece of advice for dating online to get used to. It is so easy to use a word that imposes a thought, belief or need onto another person without even knowing that you are doing it. If there is one thing that will stop an online relationship dead in its tracks it is imposing yourself on another. Once your online relationship progresses a bit you may loosen up a bit with this piece of relationship advice but until then always defer to the other person in the way you phrase a sentence. Make sure you make it known how you feel, but be sure that the wording reflects the other persons ability to disagree or agree.

Be positive

Nobody likes a gloomy Gus when they get online. They really dont want to be in an ongoing relationship with such a person, unless they happen to be a gloomy Gus. Stay up beat when you are writing with your online friend. Sure, everybody has their down days, and that is fine to share. It shows that you are becoming comfortable with that person. If there starts to be a pattern, however, you may want to assess what is going on with yourself personally or with a friend but there is really no need to share it online. If your assessment leads to a life change for the betterwell, that is a great thing to share. Relationship advice or not, good news is a turn on for most.

Be open ended

Just about everybody has heard the phrase leave them wanting more. This holds true for online dating. You might think about your daily online conversations or your longer term relationships as a multi-course dinner. Always leave the person salivating for the next course. One of the better ways to do this is ask a question or two that requires a little thought or research. This will let them have something to bring to the table for your next conversation. This would also apply to you. Indicate that you will look into something and let them know what you find the next time you write.

Meeting for the first time

The big piece of online dating advice here is to meet in a busy place. All the online chat in the world wont substitute for the first meeting and a true assessment. Try to stay relaxed. Listen, but be able to carry the conversation. Stick to areas where you can find help quickly. Call me a bit of a cynic but safety first.

Most importantly be yourself

How many times have you heard that one? Fortunately or not, the statement does ring particularly true for online relationships. A certain amount of you will seep into the online relationship whether you like it or not but try for being true to yourself all the time. Faking who you are will doom the relationship, unless you really didnt want an online relationship in the first place. If you swear quite a bit in life, go for it (just use symbols so as to not offend to much.), if you happen to be one of those folks that dots their Is with a heart go for that as well. Be who you are and the need for online relationship advice will go away fairly fast.

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Dating Advice – Tips To Follow When Using Online Dating

January 19, 2010

Dating Advice – Tips To Follow When Using Online Dating Sites

Online Dating Advice: The Big problem

When you respond to an ad, posted by a lady, youhave to know that you are not the only one. Its more likely that you r the 35-th person that is writing to her Id like to make a suggestion. Right here, right now, log on to the web and register yourself at match.com section as a lady (about 23 y/o, nice and slim).

Be sure that you use an e-mail that is not valuable for you – getting a new free one for the purpose is a good idea.

This is going to be a small experiment. After a couple of days youll find out two things:

its cool to be a lady in the NET :)

the approximate number of people you are competing with.

Something more important – youll get the idea about what are the other guys writing about. This is valuable information.

Dont hesitate and be desperate if you get 40 emails the first day from all sorts of guys willing to go on a date with you.

Ill tell you how to make women think you differ from them.

Online Dating Tip 1

The usual mistake

Well, lets suppose u did the experiment that I suggested. I bet youll find a couple dozens of variations of the following:

Hi! My name is Bob. Im 2x/3x/4x y/o. I live in PutTheName City. Im (body measures&eye-hair colour follows). I work at a ImagineSomeBusiness
Company. I like doing (this varies a lot). We might give it a try if u r interested ;) Bob

This sounds pathetic, doesnt it?

Bob is wasting his time.

Of course – he has his own chances.

If his job or hobby matches the ladys ones, hell probably get an answer. If also the lady is posting an ad for the first time, and Bob is the first one to answer, again hell probably get a reply.

Pay attention to the word first. 1 is the loneliest number

Where is he mistaking.

Bob might be a cool guy, but he shows nothing of it.

What he does is a simple announcing of facts. His personality remains covered. As I said, he could be a good psychologist, witty, emotional and educated – whole bunch of features that women consider valuable.

But if all this remains hidden behind these plain body/work/hobby facts, its quite easy for a lady to decide that nothing of it exists With other words -
Bob is wasting his valuable online time. As I said, only the fact-match remains something that can hook a lady.

This is something very thin to rely on

Online Dating Tip 2

So, what to do?

The answer is simple – you have to put some personality in your e-mail.

Once you do this, you can be sure that you can leave an impression. If you manage to do this, your work is done.

Remember the features I was talking aboutpsychologist, witty, emotional and educated. You have to convince the lady that you can think, have sense of humour and you havent missed the classes at school.

Make her laugh, make her think; dont disturb her with spelling mistakes and your chances to get a reply increase dramatically. It doesnt matter if the lady is educated or not – she wants you to be such. Let me say a few words about each one of these features

Be a psychologist!

Online Dating Tip 3

When you e-mail a lady you have to show yourself as a psychologist.

Well, how are you supposed to do this? Simple – you have to make a small prediction that comes out to be true.

First you have to read the ladys ad and gather all the valuable information.

Try to understand what is the proper motivation for her to post an ad. It might be stated directly – than it is useless for you to mention it.

If she does not say it clear, then go for it – shell be pleased to hear that someone understands her. One thing that you can always use is the fact that quite a lot of people write something similar to the ad that I showed you above.

You can predict that the lady is probably already tired of ads, telling about heights, weight and eyecolour. Say that you wont bother her with useless facts. Promise to send her a picture instead in some of your following letters.

Of course – do it if she replies. If you manage to make such a working prediction, this will convince the lady that the space between your ears is not filled with air. You know, even if you are not quite right, she might reply to tell where you are wrong. This is also a base for conversation. Use it. Be witty!

Showing some sense of humour – well, something that is difficult to achieve sometimes. What I can say is JOKE WITH YOURSELF, NOT WITH HER! REMEMBER THAT! Dont use any of the info that she gives as a material for jokes!

It might work, but its more likely that you back the lady off. Try to get her point of view – shell say Who the hell is he to speak like that?! Dont risk! In the same time, you can always make laugh from the way you look. Use phrases like It could be damn worse or I dont cover the mirrors with
sheets at my place when talking about your appearance.

Its a basic thing to show that you like yourself. If you dont, well this is a little bit far from the topic of this article, but do an effort not to show it (and constantly work to change this).

Its a basic statement that you have first to like and love the person that you see in the mirror in order the others to like and love you. Back to humour -keep the lines that are supposed to make her laugh unexpected and short.

Online Dating Tip 3

Telling long stories with funny end is not a quite good idea – the end might not be that funny and the whole reading might be in vain. Coming up with a witty line at the moment of writing an e-mail is not always possible.

Its a good idea always to keep your ears opened for funny things, quotes, etc. Write them down the moment you hear them, or when they come to your
mind.

To get even more dating advice visit http://www.datingadvice.ws

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10 Tips To Online Dating

November 13, 2009

Years ago, the grocery store was the best place to meet a potential new love interest. Today, online dating is quickly becoming the singles hot spot with individuals around the world looking to meet someone new. Photo profiles that detail personal information is becoming the norm in online dating and gives individuals an opportunity to see what a potential mate looks like on paper before taking the next step.

If you are considering online dating, there are a few tips that can help make the experience a more enjoyable and successful one.

Online Dating Tip # 1
Find someone who shares your common interest, life goals and family preferences. It is important to share some of the same hopes in order for a relationship to be worthwhile.

Online Dating Tip # 2
Use caution when giving out personal information, including your full name, address or telephone number. At first, provide nothing more than an e-mail address.

Online Dating Tip # 3
During casual conversations, look for possible warning signs of control, jealousy or tempers.

Online Dating Tip # 4
If an individual seems to be extremely needy or needs to talk to you every minute, this may be a sign of possessive behavior and should be recognized early. If you notice this happening, move on and find another possible online dating match.

Online Dating Tip # 5
Dont be afraid to ask questions. Its perfectly normal to inquire about marital status, children, hopes, dreams, etc. If someone is uncomfortable with these questions, its a good indication they have something to hide.

Online Dating Tip # 6
Dont rush. Take the time to get to know someone before you decide that you are comfortable enough to meet them. A relationship takes time to build and there is no reason to rush into anything.

Online Dating Tip # 7
If you learn that someone hasnt been honest about his/her profile or other detail, end the dating potential immediately. Dishonesty is no way to begin a relationship and it makes you question anything else that he/she may be hiding.

Online Dating Tip # 8
With honesty in mind, it is important that you be honest in your profile and with anyone whom you are having an online dating relationship with. If and when the relationship is ready to move to the next level, it will be too late to correct anything that wasnt truthful and the chance of a relationship will likely be lost.

Online Dating Tip # 9
If you plan to meet someone in person, do so in a public place. Preferably, the meeting time would be early in the day or the afternoon. It is never a good idea to meet a perfect stranger at dark or in a secluded area.

Online Dating Tip # 10
Be yourself. Dont pretend to like something or be someone that you are not just to please the other person. If they are the right one for you, there will not be a reason to pretend.

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